Friday, July 31, 2009

"Sham"-tastic. D&D4e fumblings and bumblings or "Hit it with the SHARP end!"

So "Sham" (Titus) the rogue has lofty aspirations. His self image proves that. (See picture). However, during the latest excursion through the kobold lair near Fal
crest, he had several, shall we say, setbacks?

So we have been charged with seeking out the reason Fallcrest has been plagued with Kobold attacks on its caravans. Our band of intrepid explorers consists of:

Singbeard, our dwarven, party cheer-leader or 'Warlord'.

Xystus the Orb of Deception-wielding Illusionist

Syrus our elven crack-shot ranger

"Sham" (Titus) the 'risk-taker' rogue.

And last and certainly the least important, Sir "Knight Not Appearing in this Film" or rather, Egon the Questionable Paladin, sorry! Egon the Intimate Paladin, sorry!!! Egon the Paladin.

Upon discovering the Kobold lair, our stalwart group of adventurers managed to beat through several groups of crossbow and slinger-wielding kobolds. At one point we met their lizard-like hounds or 'spiretop drakes'. Sham mistakenly called them 'crotch drakes' due to their height. This comment, in turn, distracted Singbeard during melee causing him to take a large amount of damage from said foe. Thanks to our fearless paladin, Singbeard lived to see another battle.

Descending a level, we discovered a defiled crypt which had a newly constructed shrine of Tiamat. Despite Sham's warnings about traps, Egon charged through the obvious trap tiles and headed towards the kobold worshipers. Sham tried to disengage the trap mechanism on the suits of armor, but managed to nearly kill Syrus in the process. The battle was quickly over with Egon destroying the temple and Xystus looting it (before Egon went into his holier-than-
though tyrade).

We then encountered a room where it appeared that a group of kobolds were enjoying a questionable game of tether-ball. The group of slingers were on a ledge using an unidentified sphere suspended from the ceiling. This sphere was being used to knock skulls off of nearly destroyed coffins. While dodging (some of us) and not dodging the sphere, we managed to fight through the large group of slingers and our party rested after the melee.

We continued down into the
kobold lair and eventually spent quite a bit of time in a large chamber. This chamber contained an evil and ingenious trap mechanism. Upon entering, a large boulder smashed down near Sham. It rumbled and rolled along a hidden mechanism in the floor, propelling it loudly around the chamber. We were assaulted by slinger kobolds in addition to several more stout 'dragonshield' types. The party split up (nearly a grave error) and combated the various groups of enemies. Finally, our true foe revealed himself - a bone-mask wearing Kobold Shaman. (We were asked to bring back the bone mask for proof of destroying the caravan/Fallcrest threat.)

Of course, Sham saw this as a moment to shine. He attempted to use his acrobatics and leap across the dragonshield kobolds. The result was less than graceful as he was sliced and diced in the process. Egon came to his aid and managed to heal him after bashing through the dragonshield foes. Unfortunately, the boulder ran over Sham, again putting him closer to death.

Egon managed to 'lay hands' on Sham. Upon awaking, Sham panicked and ran towards the Kobold Bone-Mask wearing-Shaman. He attempted to backstab him, but still rattled and mortified from his intimate experience with Egon, missed horribly. The Shaman clobbered him over the head and all went black for Sham.

Meanwhile, Xystus was busy fending off a pesty imp which apparently belonged to the Shaman. He had dodged into an alcove to avoid being flattened but soon felt an icy rake of claws across his back and cape. Xystus bolted out of the alcove, while the imp darted through the air behind him. He managed to reach the room in the center, climb up to the ledge. Here is where continued to blast the Shaman, his minions and the imp with his magic fizzles, sorry, missiles.

Meanwhile, Sham lay unconscious.

It should be noted, at this point, that Xystus was continuously screaming at Singbeard, "Hit it with the sharp end!!!" throughout the entire battle. Singbeard was, without preamble, completely ineffectual in this entire battle.*

Eventually the day was won, albeit with some party dissension in the ranks concerning what we should do with the Shaman. In the end, Egon butchered him and took his mask.

The party was nearly spent at this point and elected to rest in this gods-forsaken chamber. Xystus and Syrus were given first watch. The evening was interrupted with the yipping and yapping of a large group of kobold minions. Syrus pin-cushioned them while Xystus blew them to kobold goo with a well-placed spell.

How did Egon and Singbeard end up being Sham's nurses?

The party continued resting after the encounter. Xystus discovered a secret door in the alcove where he previously encountered the imp. The party entered, and descended a great distance. The temperature dropped and soon we were seeing our breath.

Eventually the passage opened into a large, icy chamber. In the center of the chamber lay a frozen pond of sorts. The ice was dark and what lay beneath was hard to discern. Sham scouted ahead, and much to his surprise, discovered the chamber was occupied by a young white dragon. Alerting the party, all hell broke loose. The dragon spewed an icy blast of death towards the party. Egon and Singbeard engaged while Sham and Syrus pelted it with arrows. Xystus attempted to negotiate (a wizard of the first order trying to intimidate a white dragon!!! Oh the gall!). Instead, the dragon became infuriated and became so beside itself, it forgot to breathe its' breath weapon for the majority of the battle. Egon essentially became the whipping post while the party blasted it from all directions. Syrus was reigning elven arrow-death upon the dragon - eventually finding the sweet spot in the scales. He dropped the dragon with the killing blow - a well placed arrow felled the beast and we were victorious.

We discovered a chest which Sham picked effortlessly. Inside was some loot for the party to divvy out. Also included was a letter from 'Iron Tooth' a goblin leader trying to align the powers of the area to attack Fallcrest. The dragon head, letter, bone-mask are all in our possession. Now to return to Fallcrest!

*note that this telling of said events come from the memory of a particular rogue who spent a good portion of the adventure on his back.